The girl with the bright orange sweater.

Following the tradition carried down from my measly childhood, I'm about to rip off Hayley's blog. Ripping off other people's ideas seems to be a theme in these blogs, but I have an honest excuse. For one thing, my fingers have been dying to type and I have nothing to talk about, and secondly, I'm still sort of tipsy from last night, but that's another story. I should say straight out that I hate talking about my past. More specifically, my freshman year. Also known as: The Year of Denial. It's a sad process, thinking back on all the idiotic things that I've done, all the stupid thoughts that clouded my day. For the most part it's like watching a car crash. You really don't want to look, but you just can't stop staring.

14-Year-Old Me was a looped, full-screen car crash, complete with a bright neon orange fluffy jacket that fit way too snug to be considered comfortable. She would carry an eyeliner and apply it every day during school breakfast, only to smudge it off before the last bell so that Mother wouldn't find out. She would deliberately not wear glasses, despite the countless hours devoted to the bespectacled hero of my heart, and she most definitely did not consider a 38-year-old man with spiked hair even relatively sexy.

14-Year-Old Janet would have a hard time believing anything that Current Janet would say, like the fact that there will come a point in life where the world will know who Edward Cullen was and that I would come to hate him with every fiber of my body. I would make weird Potter references and relish at the confounded faces from the rest of the world. And yes, my prepubescent self would never come to turns with the fact that in a year or so, I would spend hours on the computer screen watching people talk into a camera, and consider those people actual idols. I would never believe that I would love any author more than I loved Rowling, much less that the author in question would be on the phone with me at one point (even if it was for only a few seconds).

My life has had so many unprecedented and completely marvelous turns, but it's not enough to make me happy. This might make me sound like a cold ungrateful person, but the truth of it is: I watch people on the internet who have no clue who I am. I'm a nobody, and until I make somebody out of myself, then I won't be happy. I want to produce brain crack that the world will be addicted to. I want to throw myself out there and see where I land, just to prove that I can.

When I grow up I want to be Hayley G. Hoover.*


*I realize that my blog makes no sense now. I have no clue how I ended up on this sentence, but like I said: my mind isn't all there right now.

Awesome: Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare. Preferably on a swively chair, with a headset and drink in hand.
Currently Reading: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. All reading has been put on hold to read the books required for my Medical Reading Competition the first week of February. Will post review on each one.